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Re-entry Reminders
Ilene Stubbs
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Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be
sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble." 1 Peter 3:8
With many families now experiencing the challenges of
deployment and re-entry, Ilene Stubbs offers some suggestions for managing the
process.
- Normal has changed for everyone.
- Be patient--it takes time to get into a routine.
- Soldiers haven't been on a vacation.
- Expect your household to be different.
- Keep life as routine as possible.
- Take time to re-adjust to one another.
- Go slowly.
- Communicate feelings.
- Anxiety is normal.
- Discuss frustrations.
- Accept that we are all different.
- Initial discomfort in adjusting doesn't mean your spouse is
unhappy with you or the family.
- Communicate ahead of your spouse's return about radical
changes in your physical appearance (once a redhead now a blonde).
- Communicate about changes in discipline of children.
- Assume you've both been faithful to one another unless strong
evidence indicates differently. Then seek wise counsel.
- Be open about changes that have occurred in your
life--spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
- Avoid "who had it worse games."
- Remember intimacy and sex are not the same
thing.
- Accommodate, accommodate, accommodate. Meet small
requests--like eating favorite foods three times a day.
- Listen, look, listen.
- Take it easy. Let things happen naturally.
- Old problems don't disappear.
- Take time to share expectations and concerns before
your spouse returns home.
- Soldiers' sleeping patterns may vary.
- Spouses may need space--let them have as much time as
needed.
- Realize you will never understand all your spouse has been
through.
- Military spouses may have nightmares. Don't panic.
- If a soldier doesn't want to talk, don't push.
- Re-union is difficult! Stay calm and don't give up!!
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved,
clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and
patience.
- Colossians 3:12 |
